Gender neutral parenting - an untrodden path in Indian parenting!!
- Shristi Sharma
- Jun 17, 2021
- 3 min read
Updated: Jun 18, 2021
Indian society still has patriarchy embedded deep in its roots. Still the birth of a male child is celebrated with ecstasy and a female child is still considered a burden to the family.
However the urban India has slowly accepted the concept of gender equality.
But today I'm not hear to preach on gender equality. I'm here to talk about GENDER NEUTRAL PARENTING .
So I was raised in a family where I never felt that my brothers were loved or pampered more than me. Gender bias was a concept I learnt about much later.
Now you must be wandering what is this fuss about gender neutral parenting. So let me tell you an incident- when I was 7pregnant with my son, someone (let's call the person 'x') told me something which till date makes me livid thinking about it.
X came to me and said " if its a girl, you should'nt throw a welcome party for the baby , or else you next born will be a girl again!"
Wow how could anyone be biased towards a child who isn't even born. It really had me thinking how my unborn child is safer and happier in my womb. But how could I ensure an environment at home where he/she will not be judged based on the gender.
It was then I came across the amazing concept of gender neutral parenting.
What is gender neutral parenting?
Gender neutral parenting is a difficult yet amazing journey of raising a human above the biases of the society. The idea is to raise a good human not a good man or woman.
How to implement it?
Gender neutral parenting starts right from birth by not stereotyping colors - blue for boys pink for girls. The child should be given the freedom to choose whichever color he/she want to wear.
They should be allowed to explore and play with all types of toys , not just cars and guns for boys and dolls and soft toys for girls.
Gender neutral parenting helps normalizing emotions as here we don't say boys don't cry or don't cry like a girl. Rather accepting a child's emotion and giving them the freedom to express themselves in anyway they want. Thus kids brought up in gender neutral environment have greater emotional stability and empathy towards others which is lacking in the world we live in today.
Some parents even go to the extent of naming the child with a gender neutral name which I feel is so liberating.
Gender neutral environment doesn't bias household chores like cooking which actually in general should be considered a survival skill but in Indian society the kitchen duties are solely put on the shoulders of the females of the house, whether the female is a homemaker or an independent woman.
Pros & cons of gender neutral parenting :
Lets talk about the pros :
Kid brought up in gender neutral environment grow up to be emotionally stable
Kids with gender neutral parenting become advocates of gender equality.
Since gender is no bar so the kids with gender neutral parenting have the opportunity to experience everything relevant to both genders.
Such kids are not bullies in school or later in life too.
Cons are mostly when gender neutral parenting is strictly followed, :
Such kids might be confused about themselves and their identity.
They may experience bullying at school or places where parents are not around because of being different from the rest.
It will not always be possible to provide a complete gender neutral environment.
To conclude I would like to say that , kids should be told about gender stereotypes but , we as parents need to help them not to be influenced by it. I high time to accept everyone with more love and less judgment.
Happy parenting!
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